I didn’t realise I’d been waiting

The unopened letters on the white shelf in the dining room. They can sit. I’ll deal with them. Just, after.

The invitations. Calls and texts unreturned. Let me get through this, then I’ll know what happens next.

We should book a weekend away. But let’s see how it goes first.

The children. Puzzles struggled without my attention. New clothes to buy for next term. Niggles over toys. Now you run only to Mum with tears. She can referee. I’ll be a better Dad soon. I’ll start afresh.

My office. Papers strewn across the desk and floor. Boxes piled up. The bin overflowing, like my inbox. Close the door. I’ll come back.

Hedges overgrown. You can’t open the shed. Lettuce, oversized. Dry, full of holes, gone to seed. I’ll dig them up. I’ll do a clear up. Just not today.

The medication. Making me sleep, feeling sick, irritable. No point in changing now. I’ll deal with it once we know.

I didn’t realise I’d been waiting. It’s everything I’ve been doing.

And now the wait has gone. We had a staring match, and I won.

No growth. No enhancement.

You’ll be back in six months, but I promise I won’t wait for you.

It’s your turn to hang around doing nothing. I’m getting on with more important things.


  1. Wanted to leave a comment but now I’m leaving it I’m not quite sure how to say what I want to say. Anyway, here goes….I suppose I simply want to say that I’m glad you won the first staring match. The wait for the update yesterday must have been unbearable and my thoughts have been, and will continue to be, with you all. Now sort those bloody lettuces out! Love to you all, Gorga.x

  2. Thank you so much.

    You’ll be glad to know we had an immense garden clear out yesterday. Catharsis!

    Thanks to the in laws for hoeing and lopping all day, the garden looks great. And today I took the kiddos to the zoo all day. So, I’m keeping my promise.

    Now, about that weekend away…

    Thanks again,


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