Getting off the bike?

So, if there’s a chance of seizures when I go out cycling, and I’ve only ever had seizures on the bike, why not just … you know … stop cycling?

Some have suggested just this, and its a valid question. I suppose.

Here’s my answer.

This tumour is going to rob me of a lot of things over the next (as yet unknown) months and years.

I’ll probably lose my memory, short- and long-term, as the tumour grows. That means memories of my children, my wife, my childhood, my friends, myself.

I’ll gradually lose my ability to speak or communicate clearly. I’ll get confused when I try to tell friends I love them, or ask my children for a kiss.

I’ll gradually lose the use of my right arm and leg, followed by weakness down the right hand side, then the same on the left. I may not be able to hug, to hold hands.

I’ll lose the ability to go to the toilet by myself, and others will have to help me. To clean up after me.

I’ll lose the ability to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time. Then I won’t be able to stay awake at all.

I’ll lose my life.

These are the things that will slowly be taken from me and my family as the disease progresses. We don’t have a choice.

Right now, all the tumour is doing is offering a currently low risk of a weird dizziness and numbness that means I have to jump off the bike pretty quick sharp if one comes on.

Already, it’s taken away my ability to drive. I’ll probably never be able to enter a bike race again.

Right now, I can happily and safely climb onto my bike, point the front wheel down the road and just pedal.

I can enjoy the freedom, satisfaction, fitness and fulfilment that it has brought me for more than a decade.

My ability to enjoy those things could be taken away any time – it could be months, it could be years.

With the tumour already due to take so much, why should I willingly hang up my wheels before I have to?

So while I still have a choice, my choice is to ride.

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